don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My Sexting was not on an AP level
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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