Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
