And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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