I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
