i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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