He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
