You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
