ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize