a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Success! We fucked roommates!
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