tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The uberlube is also flammable
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
