we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
