Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
