Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
