this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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