This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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