Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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