Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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