Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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