All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
