Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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