dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i dont even know how to be here
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Randomize
