After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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