My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
