there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
