i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Randomize
