GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
