small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
