i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
