No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
