just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
