I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
