I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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