Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
