Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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