at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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