You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
