dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
