did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
