Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
