the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Found the puke drawer
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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