I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It's shark week go big or go home
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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