found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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