I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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