I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you will always have a special place in my vag
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
