so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize