i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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