Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
