I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
