I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize