Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
