I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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