conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
