You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
