Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
