About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
