dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I don't deserve a penis
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
