i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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