If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
