Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
