I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
