Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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