i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
