JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
