Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
