O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
