bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
