He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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