I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
