dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
