I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
