I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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